I’ve done CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) at least four times. It teaches you to recognise negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. It works! (Kind of).
It is very very hard.
Its easy enough to identify negative thoughts (“everyone hates me”). Its easy enough to give yourself a good talking to (“what evidence do you have for that?” “think of some people who definitely dont hate you – therefore everyone doesnt hate you”, “why do you care what people think?”).
But it is damn near impossible to believe the positive thoughts!
Apparently the more you practice it the easier it gives. Thoughts always take the path of least resistance. If you have been thinking negatively for a long time – then they are natural, they come easily. To make the positive thoughts come as easily you have to make them feel natural – it takes time and lots and lots and lots of practice.
One of the things that they suggest in CBT is to write down your positive thoughts. So this morning I thought “Im a lazy useless mother and housewife”. So Im publishing my positive response (with the vain hope that it might help me to believe it!).
It is 10am and I have so far:
- fed the baby
- changed the baby’s nappy
- made breakfast for 3 children
- eaten breakfast
- put the washing machine on
- put the dryer on
- folded and put away the clean towels
- cleaned the toilet
- emptied the dishwasher
- made a piece of jewellery
- dressed a child
- mended a TV
- had a couple of sociological debates with myself (blog posts to come)
- changed a duvet cover
- practiced my CBT (and written this post)
Not the most glamorous list of jobs but its not too bad. Suppose I should feel proud of myself. Im going to stop now because the negative thoughts are entering my head in answer to why I shouldnt feel proud of myself at all.
CBT its a lifelong process. Being depressed is a task in itself.
Nic Danson 
After my marriage breaking up (mainly because he though I was a useless housewife) it took me a long time to get out of the downward spiral of negative thinking. But running a home, working nearly fulltime, and managing 2 kids then age 3 and 4 …. first I went even further down, and then I started coming back up. Let no one bring me down until you have walked in my shoes.
You think I’m loud and irritating? I don’t give a toss !! You think I’m weird and have a strange sense of humour? You’re jealous because I’m so funny !! You want to ignore me at the school gates? Your loss honeybee !! You don’t want to ask me to events because I’m the only single mom? Who cares, I’ll have more fun on my own !!
Could be called arrogance, selfishness, blah blah blah.
I’ve given up listening to that little negative monster who tells me ‘You can’t, You shoudn’t, You mustn’t’… Hit him over the head and bellow over that whiny voice ‘I can, I want to, I’m going to!’