I went to a funeral this week. I’m “lucky” that I haven’t had to go to many funerals (sadly, the number is expected to increase in the next few years) so I haven’t got much to compare it with. But I found this one strangely inspiring. I’m not a believer in God (in any of his forms) but I have some affinity to certain aspects of religion: hope, community, fate, doing unto others (as you would wish done to yourself), caring and so on. And one thing that the preacher/minister/vicar said that really hit home with me was the amount of time that we spend improving and looking after our physical form and ignore our spiritual form or our “soul”? Given my background with depression this really struck a chord with me. I love shopping for the latest fashions but inside I’m miserable. In fact every time I’ve been in a church I can see the allure of the whole business. If it wasn’t for that one pesky thing – I just don’t believe in God. Damn and blast Him.

So I thought – there must be more like me – who want everything that religion has to offer (except the God part). Who actually don’t have the time for a couple of hours every Sunday for church. So, I’ve come up with a solution! I’ll start my own religion!

I’m struggling with a title. Nic-ology sounds like a social science, Nic-ism sounds like a crazy thing I might say. So for now I’ve settled with Nic-inity, but I’m sure my disciples will come up with a better term in time.

My ideology will be basic: thy shall not sin, thy shall not steal, blah blah blah. We’ll aim to make the world a better place – starting with our own community (charity begins at home). We don’t have time to meet so we’ll communicate by Facebook or text for now. But in times of need, we’ll be available.

Wait a minute, all this sounds strangely familiar. It seems we’ve all been practising Nic-inity without even realising it! Yay! I’ve created a new religion. I’ll be famous! (better start dressing for the paparazzi; where did I leave my credit card – its time to go shopping……)